Thursday, May 17, 2012

Oh Dear....

I have scoliosis - it's not debilitating or anything. I'm just not allowed to take a job as a piano mover or paint the Sistine Chapel. I once had a cute little aerobics instructor ask me in front of the class if I was a cripple because I couldn't lift both arms over my head at the same time.

Over the period of the last three weeks, we have moved (no pianos), I have painted all the main rooms in the new house. They have gorgeous 12' ceilings. Flown to Canada and back and started a new workout routine. Along with other extra curricular activities. When I woke up this morning, my neck refused to lift my head off the pillow. That's its job, moving my head. My neck turned in a letter of resignation at some point during the night and now I am left with a job opening necessary to complete the renovation of both house and body. This leaves me with three options. Take 8 advil and pretend my neck still works. Go get a massage that will take three days to have any effect but is easier on your liver than 24 advil. Rest. I suck at the last one, especially when there is decorating to be done! Not sure how today will go.

On a side note, my husband said last night while discussing who would play us in a movie, he's Ben Affleck, no argument - that I reminded him of Mini Driver. Um, I love her, but she has jawline issues, i.e. a massive one. I have the before mentioned turkey neck. I don't see it. I said I would rather Marion Coltillard. Apparently there is a boob difference that could only be corrected by surgery. And folks, that's neck money.

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