Friday, June 1, 2012

Instant Gratification

Let's run through my day to see why the frustration builds up to the point of screaming shall we? I wake up in the morning refreshed after having a good nights sleep (let's play pretend on that one because you and I both know it's a lie). The bags under my eyes are gone. I need to wake up, so I have a coffee, it works, every time. I'm hungry so I make my potion, drink it and I'm not hungry anymore. Should it be time for a hair cut/color, I go to the salon and when I leave, my hair looks great. Nails jacked, no problem, a trip to the nail salon will fix quick snap. Dirty clothes, one wash, fixed. Dirty body, one wash, fixed. Messy house, one clean, fixed.

Why the fuck do I exercise day in and day out, starve myself silly (and today bitchy) to get no result what so ever. Go to the gym, burn 500 calories, leave looking worse. Cause now I'm pudgy and sweaty. People would work out every friggin day if when they left the gym it actually looked like they had gone. But it doesn't work that way does it?!!  You have to go, in my case, for something like 6 months before you get one nice person - usually someone you tip like your stylist - ask if you've been doing something. That's why people are obsessed with telling people via twitter and Facebook that they've gone to the gym. Because if you didn't tell them they wouldn't be able to tell just by looking at you. I used to be annoyed with all the status updates "off to the gym," Jim just checked into Useless Fitness, "so tired from my workout." But these people are just trying to keep themselves sane. They want someone to tell them it's worth it, it's working.

There's a place somewhere in Africa where skinny men and fat women are socially perfect. I wonder how many air miles it takes to get there. Oprah found it, of course.

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